Category — Family

I thought a lot about what this post would look like, what I would say, how excited I would be.  But this morning, sitting over coffee at the kitchen table, this is all I want to write:  I will pause amidst all the chaos of moving and be thankful for the job Eric has accepted.  I will take a second before I freak out about finding myself a job (which I’ve been doing, hard core) and be happy that this huge hurdle has been crossed, ending, depending on how you look at it, two years of searching.

We are surrounded by 6 thousand boxes, too many family members, and clutter galore…but none of those things are worth complaining about. Because I have it all in perspective.  For once.

Eric’s pretty good with a gun.

See

Thinking about buying a house, gathering crock pot recipes (I just got one for my birthday) and thinking about parenting* are heavy on my mind these days.  I came across this article on Simple Mom and really, deeply agreed with it.  I’ll share little sections of it, if you’re interested in more, see her site, it’s worth it.

(The following post is written by relationships columnist Corey Allan)

The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.

Let me repeat - the greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself. Now before you throw stones, hear me out.

Who would you say is in charge in most families?  Is it the parents, or the kids?  In America, the answer is the latter.  Take a look around at the cars as you drive down the road.  The stickers plastered on the back window and bumpers tell the tale of child focus as the latest status symbol in America.

Our culture broadcasts our Trophy Kids similar to the same way we broadcast our affluence by wearing labels with someone else’s name all over our clothes.

Think of the time spent running kids to and from one event to the next.  Days are filled with events geared solely for the kids.  Family life in America has moved from “Children should be seen and not heard” to “No adult conversation possible.”  And the kids know it, too.

So it is absolutely possible that there can be too much focus on the kids. And it’s this over-focus that is harmful to them, to the family - and to you.  The kids that function best in life – in relationships, in education, in careers – are the kids that were most free of child focus during their growing up years.

Child focus is often negative – it’s the scapegoated kid who can do nothing right.  Sometimes it comes across as positive – it’s the golden child who can do no wrong.  The results of either kind of child focus are a lifetime of struggle. The kid left to find his or her own way (and by that, I don’t mean absent of affection or neglected) is the one best prepared to deal directly with life.

*Janis, Addie, Andrea and all the other women close to me. This is not to be construed as committing to having children soon.  I’m always way ahead of myself; over prepared and over-analyzing.  So calm down.

Been sick for the last week. Today I’m finally feeling better, but not 100%.  We spent the weekend in St Cloud, as with most weekends, to hang with family and attend agility training with the dogs.  Tomorrow we return to Plymouth, continue holding our breath awaiting the awesomeness that is a job offer, and try to remain optimistic.

Things I hope to do this week:

Pick up my damn camera and actually use it

Get on the treadmill

Spend some time righteously grooming my dog.  Not the lazy way, the it-takes-me-two-hours-and-my-back-hurts-for-days way.  Right now, he looks like a scruffy old man with disheveled clothes and messy hair who is happy and content, but looks ridiculous and no one has the heart to tell him.

Do you ever think about all the random names that you call your animals? I was talking to Riggs yesterday, about eating bird seeds in the yard…and about how that makes him sick…and about how I’m not going to clean it up, and addressed him as, “Mr. Bot”.  Absolutely no relation to his real name.

We started calling him “Bot” as a baby because he kind of moved around like a robot.  That’s turned into Bot Man, Mr. Riggs Bot, Bot Face, and so on.  Andrea started calling him “Rigatoni”. Like the pasta. That stuck too.  I call him Brown Dog a lot too.  Just in case he isn’t confused enough with all the other titles.

Elvis is known as “Black Dog”.  Or L-Face.  Or Mr. Elvis (he’s very distinguished).  Or my favorite, “Punk”.  He really is a punk.  The funny thing about the whole thing is that they really do answer to most all of these names.