Category — Humor

I’m Adopted
Since I can remember, I have known I was adopted. My biological mother was 17 was I was born and “wasn’t ready to be a parent.”  My 24 year old sister is also adopted.  She has fetal alcohol syndrome and without knowing the extent of her special needs, my parents brought her into the family. I believe they are saints for this.  My mom affectionately calls my sister, her “ticket into heaven”.   I have no intentions of meeting my biological parents (whom I can only assume are not together now), although I have just started the trying process of getting updated medical information from them.  This, apparently, is like pulling teeth, so stay tuned for more of the struggle.

I’m a Perfectionist

I hate germs, I wipe and disinfect counters, dog kennels, floors and any other surface often.  I thrive on clean, simple spaces and I spend much of my time day dreaming about having a house with enough room to spread out and only have the required number of things around me.  I write lists, I can’t stand extra icons on my desktop, clothes on the floor, and things on the kitchen counter.  In grade school, high school and college I always had to clean my room before studying or going out for the night.  Living with people is a challenge for me.  All that being said; I still own dogs, and I share a space with my Husband (and currently two, sometimes three, wonderful roommates).  So, not everything is “perfect”.  I am happy, though, that Eric and I both share an appreciation for open, clean, simple spaces.  

I am a Catholic School Girl

I went to catholic school from kindergarten though 12^th grade.  Did I love it? Usually.  Did we have a bunch of nun’s teaching classes? No, I only had one nun named Sister Claire. She was awesome.  Will I send my kids to private school? Depends.  On that note…

My Mom Was My First Grade Teacher

My Mom has taught in the Catholic school for over 30 years.  She still teaches first grade.  I was supposed to call her “Mrs. Olmschenk”.  I did not.  Multiple times a day, I would ask, “Mom, when is lunch?” 

My Dream Job

…would be to have enough room, either a huge garage or an extra building, to have a home photography studio with a small-ish dog daycare attached.  Home business utopia.

I Am Allergic to A Lot of Medicines

By the time I was seven, I had had 4 different allergic reactions to common “kid” meds.  One time, I missed 3 weeks of school, thankfully in 1^st grade where I knew the teacher, because I lost all feeling and use of my legs.  There are only a few things I can take when I am sick.  I could probably be re-tested for these things as an adult…stay tuned.

I’m Going to Copy Eric on the Tattoo Thing

I love my tattoos. I have specific plans in mind for the future. I want more.  I don’t care what you think.  The end. 

There was Sadie and Tanner

After years of hard work, and I do mean years, my Dad reluctantly climbed out of the car and picked a little mutt out of a card board box, flopped her into my lap, and quietly drove home.  Long story short, Sadie immediately decided she was my Dad’s dog.  She was supposed to be crated at night and in the matter of a month, she was sleeping next to him.  This relationship went on for almost 15 years, my Dad and his dog.  She loved him dearly.  Unfortunately, she had a real distaste for most other people outside of the family.  On the day she was scheduled to be put to sleep, he refused to come.  I suppose it was my job, she was my dog, in a way. I think I hurt more for my Dad then for losing my little dog that I worked so hard for.

A couple of years after we got Sadie, I found myself in a situation with another dog.  I had met and fell in love with Tanner when he was just a puppy. He was owned by a good friend of my Mom’s.  Five years and two kids later, Tanner’s owner was looking for a home for her beloved dog.  I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t hesitate.  I got down on my knees begging my Dad for mercy and a little compassion and swore away all my teenage years to care for this dog.  A month later, he was mine and this begins the ‘movie-style-Lassie-and-Timmy’ era of my growing-up years.

If you ask a dog person what that ‘once in a life time’ dog is to them, they will tell you it’s their heart dog. The one they won’t replace with future dogs.  I won’t go on with all the gooey details, but in November 2002, Tanner was diagnosed with cancer and I put him to sleep shortly after. I think he was always meant to be my dog,  you can think I’m crazy for saying that. That’s okay.  I am a little crazy when it comes to my dogs.

Maybe I need to jump on the Marley and Me bandwagon and pen our adventure together.  Tanner the Wonder Dog and His Blond Haired Girl by Patty Carlson

Just as a side note, Elvis is a maniac. He is too wild, he is not always focused on what I want, he does not always come when called, and he always has to wear a leash outside or he will run away.  When he chooses to listen, he is a genius.  He is the funniest dog with the best sense of humor.  He’s no Tanner, but he’s a pretty good boy.  Check back in five years, maybe he will mellow out a bit, and I’ll be a best selling author.

Emily & Henrietta

Dogs are so much smarter than we give them credit for.

Tonight I ran into Chipotle to pick up dinner and on the way out, I held the door for a women who was carrying her daughter, maybe 4 years old, and a big bag of food. This was a natural reaction on my part, but the Mom was so pleased, stressing, “thank you, so much!”. Very sincere.

She hustled to the car next to us, daughter on hip, who exclaimed in her little voice, “Mom, that was nice of her!”.

*Poof* My faith in humanity and parenting was restored.