Category — Marriage

Thinking about buying a house, gathering crock pot recipes (I just got one for my birthday) and thinking about parenting* are heavy on my mind these days.  I came across this article on Simple Mom and really, deeply agreed with it.  I’ll share little sections of it, if you’re interested in more, see her site, it’s worth it.

(The following post is written by relationships columnist Corey Allan)

The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.

Let me repeat - the greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself. Now before you throw stones, hear me out.

Who would you say is in charge in most families?  Is it the parents, or the kids?  In America, the answer is the latter.  Take a look around at the cars as you drive down the road.  The stickers plastered on the back window and bumpers tell the tale of child focus as the latest status symbol in America.

Our culture broadcasts our Trophy Kids similar to the same way we broadcast our affluence by wearing labels with someone else’s name all over our clothes.

Think of the time spent running kids to and from one event to the next.  Days are filled with events geared solely for the kids.  Family life in America has moved from “Children should be seen and not heard” to “No adult conversation possible.”  And the kids know it, too.

So it is absolutely possible that there can be too much focus on the kids. And it’s this over-focus that is harmful to them, to the family - and to you.  The kids that function best in life – in relationships, in education, in careers – are the kids that were most free of child focus during their growing up years.

Child focus is often negative – it’s the scapegoated kid who can do nothing right.  Sometimes it comes across as positive – it’s the golden child who can do no wrong.  The results of either kind of child focus are a lifetime of struggle. The kid left to find his or her own way (and by that, I don’t mean absent of affection or neglected) is the one best prepared to deal directly with life.

*Janis, Addie, Andrea and all the other women close to me. This is not to be construed as committing to having children soon.  I’m always way ahead of myself; over prepared and over-analyzing.  So calm down.

I’m putting all of my mental strength towards doing what the new header states. Sorry, no room in there to come up with a post. Most exciting thing lately: finally using our Crate and Barrel gift card to get the following items. Hurray!

Wine Rack

Spice Rack

I’m Adopted
Since I can remember, I have known I was adopted. My biological mother was 17 was I was born and “wasn’t ready to be a parent.”  My 24 year old sister is also adopted.  She has fetal alcohol syndrome and without knowing the extent of her special needs, my parents brought her into the family. I believe they are saints for this.  My mom affectionately calls my sister, her “ticket into heaven”.   I have no intentions of meeting my biological parents (whom I can only assume are not together now), although I have just started the trying process of getting updated medical information from them.  This, apparently, is like pulling teeth, so stay tuned for more of the struggle.

I’m a Perfectionist

I hate germs, I wipe and disinfect counters, dog kennels, floors and any other surface often.  I thrive on clean, simple spaces and I spend much of my time day dreaming about having a house with enough room to spread out and only have the required number of things around me.  I write lists, I can’t stand extra icons on my desktop, clothes on the floor, and things on the kitchen counter.  In grade school, high school and college I always had to clean my room before studying or going out for the night.  Living with people is a challenge for me.  All that being said; I still own dogs, and I share a space with my Husband (and currently two, sometimes three, wonderful roommates).  So, not everything is “perfect”.  I am happy, though, that Eric and I both share an appreciation for open, clean, simple spaces.  

I am a Catholic School Girl

I went to catholic school from kindergarten though 12^th grade.  Did I love it? Usually.  Did we have a bunch of nun’s teaching classes? No, I only had one nun named Sister Claire. She was awesome.  Will I send my kids to private school? Depends.  On that note…

My Mom Was My First Grade Teacher

My Mom has taught in the Catholic school for over 30 years.  She still teaches first grade.  I was supposed to call her “Mrs. Olmschenk”.  I did not.  Multiple times a day, I would ask, “Mom, when is lunch?” 

My Dream Job

…would be to have enough room, either a huge garage or an extra building, to have a home photography studio with a small-ish dog daycare attached.  Home business utopia.

I Am Allergic to A Lot of Medicines

By the time I was seven, I had had 4 different allergic reactions to common “kid” meds.  One time, I missed 3 weeks of school, thankfully in 1^st grade where I knew the teacher, because I lost all feeling and use of my legs.  There are only a few things I can take when I am sick.  I could probably be re-tested for these things as an adult…stay tuned.

I’m Going to Copy Eric on the Tattoo Thing

I love my tattoos. I have specific plans in mind for the future. I want more.  I don’t care what you think.  The end. 

I had to come back to my site after a little vacation to post this photo of Eric and Everette.  I’ve mentioned Heather’s nephews before.  We spent yesterday with them, with the highlight of the day being a trip to the park.  I’ve also have a picture of Eric going down the slide and Everette “catching” him, but alas, it’s blurry.